These were some thoughts I had when I was in my first year of High School, and this was my only way of relief so that I could stop thinking of hurting my self physically.... yeah, that bad I was, even though it sounds ridiculous for many people. So, since I still feel that I have to show this thoughts publicly, but without my relatives to know (since they will get "angry"... apparently).....
I'M DONE!!! Done with math, done with spanish, done with high-school, done with problems, done with diseases, done with headaches, done with everything and everyone, just... done with life. I'm tired, and don't want to do what others want just to make them happy. If they don't let me satisfy what I want, then I have no desire to continue doing what others want.
I've had enough of all of them, because it's their fault that I lost myself and now I can't find or know who I am, not who they think or want me to be, but who I really am.
That person, that person that no one else in history has ever known... 'cause they don't even try to look for it, they just get pleased of what they see: a shell with lots of mirrors that reflected what they wanted, a shell hard to break... but not impossible.
Too bad no one really tried to see behind those mirrors, ever. And what a pity that what remains in this shell, is rotting increasingly because it can't go out, but as I've had enough... I'll let her out, rotten as it is. And I won't mind, because nobody ever really cared about me. I won't be responsible of what she'll do, of how she'll behave.
I won't care if what she'll show would not be what they all wanted and liked to see on the mirrors of the shell, and so, I won't care if she... and I, are not what they expected.
I'll just be myself, and that'll be all I'll care about... even if they don't like it.
I've had enough of all of them, because it's their fault that I lost myself and now I can't find or know who I am, not who they think or want me to be, but who I really am.
That person, that person that no one else in history has ever known... 'cause they don't even try to look for it, they just get pleased of what they see: a shell with lots of mirrors that reflected what they wanted, a shell hard to break... but not impossible.
Too bad no one really tried to see behind those mirrors, ever. And what a pity that what remains in this shell, is rotting increasingly because it can't go out, but as I've had enough... I'll let her out, rotten as it is. And I won't mind, because nobody ever really cared about me. I won't be responsible of what she'll do, of how she'll behave.
I won't care if what she'll show would not be what they all wanted and liked to see on the mirrors of the shell, and so, I won't care if she... and I, are not what they expected.
I'll just be myself, and that'll be all I'll care about... even if they don't like it.
If I could just do it.... hahahaha such an irony :/
-Stephany Gómez Oropeza
"I'm not an empty shell. I'm not an empty shell. I'm not an empty shell... I just need to repeat it and even I will believe it.......... right?"
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