I'm just...... done. Is it that bad?

These were some thoughts I had when I was in my first year of High School, and this was my only way of relief so that I could stop thinking of hurting my self physically.... yeah, that bad I was, even though it sounds ridiculous for many people. So, since I still feel that I have to show this thoughts publicly, but without my relatives to know (since they will get "angry"... apparently).....

I'M DONE!!! Done with math, done with spanish, done with high-school, done with problems, done with diseases, done with headaches, done with everything and everyone, just... done with life. I'm tired, and don't want to do what others want just to make them happy. If they don't let me satisfy what I want, then I have no desire to continue doing what others want.
I've had enough of all of them, because it's their fault that I lost myself and now I can't find or know who I am, not who they think or want me to be, but who I really am.
That person, that person that no one else in history has ever known... 'cause they don't even try to look for it, they just get pleased of what they see: a shell with lots of mirrors that reflected what they wanted, a shell hard to break... but not impossible.
Too bad no one really tried to see behind those mirrors, ever. And what a pity that what remains in this shell, is rotting increasingly because it can't go out, but as I've had enough... I'll let her out, rotten as it is. And I won't mind, because nobody ever really cared about me. I won't be responsible of what she'll do, of how she'll behave.
I won't care if what she'll show would not be what they all wanted and liked to see on the mirrors of the shell, and so, I won't care if she... and I, are not what they expected.
I'll just be myself, and that'll be all I'll care about... even if they don't like it.

If I could just do it.... hahahaha such an irony :/

-Stephany Gómez Oropeza

"I'm not an empty shell. I'm not an empty shell. I'm not an empty shell... I just need to repeat it and even I will believe it.......... right?"

First post, first move to the unknown world of freedom :)

Hi there! Ok, I know that there may not be anyone looking at my blog in this moment, or that will EVER look at it..... but I don't really care, cause I made this blog just to my own satisfaction, to my own self-sufficiency, not for everyone else's. If there may be someone that would end up looking at this blog and actually reading it, then I'll thankful, but that person will only read what my thoughts about life and society are, and how I feel about it and about how it treats me. So, if you people find that interesting and even familiar to yourselves, then you're plenty welcome to comment in the crazy and most likely depressing posts I'm going to write. Just one previous warning, I'm not american nor anyone born in an english speaking country, so my english may not be good and sometimes I'll even post in spanish (I'm from Mexico, so you´ll imagine the kind.... if not, then you'll see it), so sorry about that.

My posts will not be daily, provably not even weekly, but I'll keep posting in here as long as I keep feeling bad or depressed, or even furious. So maybe as long as I'm alive, I remember this blog and its password, and I'm able to, I'll keep writing to my heart's and mind's content.

So...... that's it, next I'll post some thoughts I had when I was like... 16 years old? Well, during my second semester of High School (that's the way it works in Mexico, or at least in my High School), in other words, in my first year of High School. I was an IB student, going through some stuff, so that was the plus to state I was in that time..... a really bad state physically, emotionally and mentally.

Look forward for it!! See ya! :)

- Stephany Gómez Oropeza

"Attack life. It's going to kill anyway."